Month: July 2012

Just For The Taboo?

Posted by

2

In an earlier post, I mentioned I would soon discuss a favorite topic in this blog, and the topic was taboo kinks. It had been inspired by an experience in a session where my submissive and I role-played the parts of a ‘tween-age boy and his aunt engaged in coercive invasive examination and punishment. Prior to that experience, I had engaged in age play on several different levels, but never where the age play was sexualized by my regressing submissive. I had enjoyed being Mommy before and acting as a caretaker, and I love to regress as the sadistic little who can’t keep her squees to herself while she canes a pair of thighs into a bruised mushy pulp, so age play was not foreign to me. But to have my bottom in a highly sexualized regressive headspace anticipating my own sexual turn-on in the role play was new for me. And incredibly hot.

Of course, I had to think this to death. Was I turned on because my bottom was so turned on and that energy was contagious? Because of the intense power dynamics? Because of the taboo nature of the play itself and the inherently dirty feeling? I think it was a combination of all of these things. But at the end of the day, does it really matter? Does it matter that sometimes we’re turned on by concepts related to traumatic pasts? Or that we often eroticize the darkest parts of human life and cultural history?

Perhaps there is power in being aware of the “why’s” associated with our turn-ons, and many experience the ability to transgress and transform their negative shit. This is beautiful, so beautiful. But if we’re not careful, being too hung up on analyzing our sexuality can also be an avenue for shame and repression. Our culture does a damn good job pathologizing sexuality, and in my humble opinion, we need to resist that shit. Enjoying ourselves is a great start. But I hope I don’t contradict myself too strongly when I say I think there is also power in considering our kinks and whether or not particular manifestations are healthy or good for us. I have some fantasies that are better left fantasies, and that’s a decision only I can make for myself.

The concept of “taboo” is relative, as well. For some people, the act of submission is taboo enough in itself. For others, fantasizing about something considered amongst the farthest reach of societally accepted behavior is the ultimate taboo. Often, it’s kink-specific: we’re not *just* into something because it’s taboo- I don’t whack off to the fantasy of licking public windows while in rubber flippers and a wetsuit because it’s just so wrong. Butchyaknow, sometimes I think about the things I’d do if I had a real penis, and sticking them inside inflatable animals would probably be one of those things. And I might be really turned on by an otherwise-not-considered fantasy a play-partner shares with me just because they’re so excited by it.

For what it’s worth, I definitely don’t have any animal-fucking fantasies (and let us not get into the rant that conversation would inevitably lead to defining the differences between enjoying a fantasy or role-play vs. an exploitative reality and how one desire is not necessarily related to the other…) I just think if I had a penis, I’d probably want to stick it into all kinds of inanimate things, and there’s something really hot in my mind about the perceived patheticness of inflatables. I also don’t know why this fantasy of mine revolves around having a penis over simply just fucking an inanimate object, but it does.

FYI, we have an inflatable cow at the RACK Room Studio. If there’s a pervert out there who wants to play in a forced inflatable cow humiliation scene with me, you’d make me a happy mistress. 😉

I am grateful to work with the incredible women at Pavlovia. We’re a house full of smart, sex-positive women who not only challenge sex-negative bullshit in our day-to-day, but who work as pro-dommes because we care about the relationships we build. We care about giving others spaces of non-judgment where we only play the parts of the cruel-hearted bitches who think submissives are pathetic little worms. And fuck, we love to play those parts, but certainly many bottoms don’t want to feel that way. We’ve got to respect you to effectively get inside your head, terrify you, shame you, and humiliate you. We’ve got to respect you in order to break you open, dominate you, and show you who you belong to. We’ve got to respect you to get you high on endorphins and twitching in masochistic delight. There’s just nothing in the contract that says we have to show you we respect you. 😉 But believe me, we do. Unless you give us reason not to, and then we simply don’t do business. Otherwise, you’ll experience our respect in many forms: in the negotiations of our scenes, in the deep care for your headspace, in the use of our skills to bring your body and mind into a scene and to read you as we progress, in the honoring of your safewords, in our offers of aftercare and suggestions for continued post-scene self-care, and in your ability to send an email anytime.

So bring yourself, your fantasies, your turn-ons, your dirty fucked-up minds and let’s play. 🙂